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MOOD: feel like a pig...
maddie at 1:55 PM
today will be a short entry.. hmm went to sch todae for c math make up lesson... after tat tot of studying in sch but no ppl accompany me... call liru.. she juz woke up n i m too lazy to wait in sch.. so went hm instead... and end up doing nothing againz.... dozed off while watching " wan quan yu le".... n woke up at 5+... n watch tv all e way.... oh.. i learn a new game today... gunbound... seem to be very popular recently... everyone is playing.. got addicted with e game... ahaha but keep causing my team to lose... coz me abit slow... played with kevin n jayson... kevin keep saying i m stupid.... but heck him la.. since when he say i smart before..... -_- yawnzzz........ juz got out of e game... i need to do some studying now... !!!!! ONE WEEK TO EXAMZZ.........!!!!!!!! and i m still crapping around..... doing nothing.....
hao la.... go study liao............................................................
nitey nitey.......
maddie at 2:24 AM dear blogger.. hmm it have been quite a few days since i last update ya... hmm wat have i been doing?? SLACKZZ.... tot of wanting to start preparing my examz... but dun seem to have e mood yet... still i manage to start a few pages of my marketing.. although i seem to have forgotten by now...heez... ohh ya i didnt broke off ties with him... ahahah... suan le... i always say till all my palzzz dunwan hear le.. so i sae it here hao le... ^-^
Oh.. been busy with e friendster thingly recently... it seem to be a "in" thing now.. but alot of ppl r like using it long ago... hmm.. m i tat kuku...aiyooo... quite fun.. discover alot of things oso... friends r in a circle........
Tml got to go sch for make up lesson..... sianzz but at least better... or else i oso will be slacking at hm... wat m i doing..... examzz r round e corner already!!!! MAD....WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh ya... discover gerald n joyce in e friendster thingy.... hmm.. i really can see they r deeply in love... kinda of sweet too... wat gerald sae to joyce in her testimonial.... seem to be fill with happiness.......... but when i see wat kevin sae to me..... is a sense of disappointment........... he dared not even sae i m his ex... he juz sae..."one of those gals i noe in sec sch.."haixx abit sad la.... but suan le... he is juz a fren of mine now..........tink if gerald n joyce r truely in love... i really give them my blessings......
OHH YAH....... saw my primary school buddy today........ as pretty as ever... smart gal.. in anderson jc.... hmm practically all my p6 classmates are all in ajc now.... feel kind of useless now.... wat m i doing here???? tink i have been slacking for yearszzz................................................................
feel so disappointed in myself........ why cant i have some determination in my life........ AARRGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Mood : flared up to e extreme!!!!!!!!
maddie at 11:49 PM It is 3+ in e morning... i tink i m dead.. tml morning i will be having my java test.. e last ica... i m really nervous... slept just now.. so got up to study now... juzt hope for e best... ohh.. just now kevin called me... he called me 7 times i tink.. and a msg.. he told me he is moving hse... and sort of i wont be able to find him anymore this week onwards... and told me to check mail... i didnt reply me or anything so i got online... curious abt what he send me... but is e same... he told me that he really do not have a gf... and he IS SORRY TO JOKE WITH MY FREN... i tink he is really giving in now... but wats e point?? is too late for everything.... for now... studies come first... i got no time to entertain to all these stuffs anymore...
got to go study my java now... hope to finish up and at least let me pass it.... i dun aim high....
nitezz...
maddie at 3:09 AM haloz.. it have been a long time since i last updATe ya... i m soo sorry... juz change my layout... but is still incomplete... anyway i juz leave it lst... i m so tired now.... been doing nothing... i really regret wasting my time.. i shl start have start my revision by now.. but it seem that nothing is done!!.... i really scare i m going to repeat.... esp my java~.....-_- argzz i really cannot make it tis time round....... wat m i going to do now.... life seem to be so tiring and boring to me.... i told myself i got to study hard but my action is not following wat my heart say.... i feel so useless... i cant even stand myself!!!
tis wed is e last java ica... if i flunk for tat... TATS IT!!!! but definitely... not going to do well either... am i stupid or m i stupid??
ohhh ya... i felf so confused now... shl i work at crabtree or go back taka?? i like both environment.... so i cant make a decision out of it... i promise eng koh to go back wk... but i oso promise my supervisor to go back too... how?? i dunwan to let both parties down...y m i so undecisive?? how i wish u can tell me wat to do........ -_-
if kevin is still kevin... i would definitely heed his words... i always ask him whenever i cannot make up decision... but now...he is not e kevin i noe.... i really miss my old kevin... where is he.... can he come back?? pls.........
Feeling sick these few days... maybe because i slept too little time... feel so dizzy... am i dying....?? would anyone care if i die... will anyone cry?? no one seem to bother abt me... even my dear mom... i told her i got headache... she just told me off.. say i always slept so late n woke up early... she didnt even bother to get me any medicine... even my mom dun care abt me now...m i tat bad........
yawnz... gonna slp le... tml still got lesson... hope i spend my time wisely tml... i m not going to slack anymore!!! i promise... nitezz....
maddie at 12:49 AM yawnz... having java lab lesson now... hmm... i have been busy doing nothing coz i really catch no ball of all these crapzz...
i m sooo bored now!!! oh yah... juz now kathy n liru came here n find me... tink they are accompany chuai bah... and they wanted to see michael...!!! they really make their way to my lab n saw him from he back view... they really pengzzz!!!!
ahahahhahahahahaaa.......... i got no comentzz.... i see him everyday... ahahahhahahaahah.......
aniwei going back to do java le... before e teacher see wat i m doing now... hehehe...
buaizzzz
maddie at 1:06 PM i got a new layout... but i kind of regret now... coz i cant get e linkz thingy out of the tagboard part...
but now kind of lazy n no mood le... juz leave it lst... so sorrie... i promise to get it done ASAP!! ...
going to do some investigationzz now...
maddie at 10:53 PM
Halozz... HMM I M VERY TIRED NOW... sorrie... no time to blog todae...
tml den i write more k.. heee..
nitezzz
maddie at 12:53 AM Halozzz..... hmm i tink i m getting old... haf been feeling so tired and sleepy now... which is only 10+.. i used to be owl tat can sleep at 5 in e morning... but now... no matter how much beauty sleep i catch... its dun seem to be effective~~!!!=(
yawnzz.. AGAINZ.. i juz fallen asleep while watching e " zhou wu live" show juz now... till liru call me and told me edison is having an interview on e show.... aiyozz... he still still as charming as ever~~!!! ohh i read magazine... he sae he wanted to retired when he is 32!!! so young.... hmm... den he wanted to migrate with his wife n kidzz.. and spend their life peacefully... ohh man... he is SO SWEET!!! i wonder who could be tat lucky lady... Mrs edison chen... hahahaa i m tinking too much againz...
Back to reality... todae got to school at 8.. but as usual late... but saw weiming at e bus stop.. prew lucky someone accompany me to be late~~... dingdong gonna get jealous... hehe somehow ... she got a crush on weiming recently... ahhaz.. coz he is a nice guy!! den in class.. as usual again... quarrel with michael... and FOR GOODNESS SAKE... someone can even say" liang fu qi.. dun keep quarrel!" siao... they are mad... so ER....!! SUAN le... aniwei i m not tat petty so didnt go pursue tis matter... ahha.. ^-^
Ohh... saw shinya quite alot of times todae... but he seem to become more n more dao... he oso seem to lose e sparks i see in him le... haiz.. maybe keep seeing him.. so kind of immune le... den meet kathy n liru for lunch... and ru got SORE EYES... see la... lazy to wash contactz la... auntie.. dun be so pig can~~!!! and now wear contacts better be careful.. or else suay suay got tat eye disease... den jia let!!! den after our meal.. got one lady came n approach us... she is sort of sale woman.. promoting parfume which is not yet launch.. den me n kathy gian la.. coz only 20 buckzz.. it was really cheap.. so we bought it... and now i M OFFICALLY BROKE!! but i gif it to my mom... coz after tat i dun really like e scent le... like too mature leh.. but it really stay on ur body... now i smell my hand... there is still a scent there....
i soo bored... oh ya i went jogging after school.. but i came home and change la... i meet dingdong at serangoon stadium and we run for 3 rounds NON-STOP... wow~~ i cant believe... although is juz 3 rounds... but for me... is like WOW!! ahaha... *JIA YOU* hehehe.... and now my leg start to ache liao... haiz useless body... muz train some stamina le...
i m dozing off AGAINZ... tml still got to work... haiz abit regret to agree on e job... but no choice... need to be responsible for my promise!! ^_^
maddie at 10:52 PM dear blogger... feel soo tired now~~... been getting pek cek easily recently... hmm.. and my menses didnt come for months i guess... is there something wrong??? aiyoz.... ohh.. nothing special happen today... is another boring day for me... err.. ya todAE accompany gm in sch... haizz as usual... i wonder how he is getting along wif his "ah pie"... pengzzz....
meet ru to get e printed stuffzz she help lirong to print... quite rush then... but prew~~ still on time!!! thankzz ru.. anyway we gonna haf a treat soonz.... heehehe... ^_^
hmm...todae on e bus... saw zhenji n zihao.. aniwei we juz chat den dunno who mentioned tat bastardzz.. now i m confused too... wat relationship are we?? i feel like quarrelling with him coz i really cannot stand the way he behaved!! totally like a jerk!! truely speaking.... wat do i see in him in e lst place?? tink i m BLINDZZ!!! now to me.. he really suxzz...suddenly feel very fan gan toward him... aniwei i m here complaining... but him?? dun even noe e slightest thing i dislike abt him... he still believe i love him a lot... making me a substitude overall!!!!!!!!! ohh.. i heard zhenji sae tat he is acting like a despo in IRC... keep asking zhenji noe wat galss.. pretty... can intro anot... for GOODNESS SAKE!!! is he the kevin i noe??? sound so untrue to me.... but is e fact.. wat for zhenji lie to me... -_- although sometimes i heard zihao sae their group of frenz oso dun like him... i always wan to sae nice things for him... but then.. forget it... he derserve it...
all of sudden... i feel tat everyone is wearing a mask... kevin always told me tat group of guyss sux la...wanna jue jiao with them la...but then?? .... den zihao they all hate him so much... but when come to stuffs tat need his help.. they will go "li yong" him...after tat ignore him.... is tat wat frenz for??? i m starting to feel so disappointed in them....
but still.. life got to go on... i really hope one day my life will change for a better one.... although i noe i m very fortunate... compared to those handicapped... sick ppl... but i still cant help but complain.... is human nature... one is always nv happy..... " bu zi zu" we tend to compare ourselves to someone better den us... resulting in feeling inferior... is tis a growing stage one haf to go thruz?? hhmm.. got to ask my mom one day... but suan le.. she will sae i m too bo liao and turn one big round to scold me againz...-_- i cant really sae i hate my life la... juz tat i wan to change for a even better one... i dun haf to get a boyfriend in order to find life interestingz... juz tat i wan to find some interests... or pastures for me to feel busy n happy everyday!!! ^ ^
Juz now citibank called me... asking me if i m free to work on weekendz... hmm.. i oso dunno y i go agree e job... but is juz giving out flyers... is a simple job... 6 buckzz per hrz... hao la... so broke liao... at least got some income....
hmm.. still deciding wan to go back taka n work during holiday anot.... coz liru sae she dun feel like going back isetan... besides kathy oso like dunwan...den i will be sooo bored... no one accompany me eat lunch.. and go home.... and i m still asking for e bakers inn job... haiya nv see my sis for so long le....
ahha ohh yah.. tat stupid michael... i really feel tat he is crazy..mentally unsound.. always wan to find fault in me... we ALWAYS quarrel... we quarrel in class is a normal thing but if we dun... our classmates will find it funny.... haizz if he dunwan to pick a fight wif me... i can still comment tat he is not tat badz.... but sorrie no such luck... he behave like a childish guy to me.... in msn oso wanna quarrel.... siao!!! can he tok to me nicely for once???? ahahah but ehh... dunwan la... i tink i will laugh OUT LOUD....pengzz... i already decided.. i will nv going to find him tok UNNECESSARILY in msn... unless is URGENT OR IMPT OR i m really really really to e extrme of boredness... or else... NAH!!!!! at nite shl be peaceful... but tok to him... my whole world collasped liao!!! still peaceful....
although i got to admit... is oso a source of entertainment ONLY when i feel bored... if i m busy n pek cek n he come disturb me.... tats it!!!!!! =P
tats all for todae... coz really nothing much happenz... is e same old routine... -_-
nitez... i tink i m dozing off soon... i only manage to get 4 hrs of slp last nite... i dunwan eyes like gm....
hehee... nitey nitey....
maddie at 10:34 PM
hello!!!!!!!! miss ya sooo much!! my freaking computer broke down for dayzzz.... damn ACER!!! i will nv going to buy any accer productzz anymore.... oh ya... and tat repair man came twice u noe... the lst time he got here... my com worked perfectly but when he left... the com spoil again!! den i called againzz and got e man back AGAINZZ... finally he spotted where goes wrong... is was the hard drive!!! he even unscrewed my CPU n remove some partss... i was so scared that he dunno how to fix back...but prew~~!!! i m here!!! den went to j8 for dinnner with my palzz.... den saw lemon... so surprised to see... she still soo pretty....and got a boyfreind.. so sweet.. so envy..^ ^
Life seemed to be soo boringz... every day is like e same routine to me... i m so bored!!!!!! liru told me her fren saw hf on tv mobile... sort of advertising mobile tv... hmm... not badz... but liru is like freaking out... watching channel 5 for e whole day juz to get a glimpse of hf.. but too badz.. no such luckzz....but nvm la... let bygones be bygones.... -_-
As for me n kevin... i m really very very tired... e way he treated me was like i m a nobody to him.. i dun like tis feelingz... although we r juz frenz now... i still dun wan him to treat me as a frenzz... e feelingzz suckxxx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
suan le suan le..... i really make up my mind... i have enluff of all these JERKZZ....!!! damn sianzz lor.....
hao la... i dun feel like typing le... feel so depressed recently...
nitezz....
maddie at 3:45 AM dear blogger... hmm didnt really update ya for days coz of my freaking mouse!! always cant move but surprisingly.. it can work now... and also becoz of tis damn mouse.. i indirectly quarrel with kevin... he was being so unreasonable...anyway i was feeling so pek cek with my mouse too.. so too bad... i juz told him off.. i really wan to end every thing with him.. i even told him i dun feel like toking to him n told him to block me away from his msn... i call liru n kp to her... and we both conclude he is a jerk n a childish bastardz... hmm after a few sms... i tink i won e match.. den i dun feel like replying him.. and u guess wat... he called me 8times in e middle of e nite!! at 2am.. for goodness sake.. i was sleeping... when i didnt pick up.. he can even msg me saying tat fine.. dun ans... it will be e last time he ever call me or msg me... but after tat sms.. few min later... he called again... (ahah tats kevin) and i really cannot stand liao n finally i answered... haiz i feel so "shi bai" again.. I shl be more hard-hearted...
todae i went sch for my java pract n quiz.. i totally gif up le... and i still got up 8 am todae to study for it... aniwei is over...
nothing much happen.. after tat went for lunch at long john with my classmates... feel so guilty now... *FATSS*... den went home to catch my beauty slp againz... after 3 sweet hrs... got up n went my ah ma for her bdae celebration...
cant believe my grandma is already 70 yrs old!!! but she look so young.. i tot she is juz 60... and my ah gong...
he seem to become more n more weak... now he didnt even wan to tok... he was sooo weak that he couldnt walk straight.. he bend when he walk...(like liang popo) i see liao feel so "xin suan".. wat is happening... but he smiled at me... i was so happy... even he didnt recongise me... i really really hope that one dae my ah gong could call me by my name again....
he bought me up... and now i m big enough to take care of myself... den now he is e one that cannot take care of himself.... y??? is life that cruel???
i even told my ah gong i m going to study hard and earn alot of money ... buy big hse... he even sae
he waiting for my invitation... when i failed my english... ah gong told me not to gif up... he told me not to feel ashamed... he told me everyone will support me... he told me: "ah gong will support u!"....
i really miss my ah gong.... -_-
kkz.. too much sentimental... get back to life now!! oh ya... saw quze tat dae at nyp.. surprise to find him so friendly and in fact... he is cute... ahah but dun worry kathy.. i wont be crazy over him... my heart is always wif edison.. hehhe
on fridae saw kathy n liru wear formal... they look sooo smart... and tall ( of cos la... heels mah) haiz... make me feel so short... when i m already one....
oh ya... juz saw dingding blog.. she sae something like giving commentzz on her.... hmm... dingdong i tink u shl open up and social more.... try to enjoy life.... live to e fullest... no use crying over spilled milk... but keep tis in mind... dun let other ppl's opinion affect u... no matter how ppl judge u... u r who u r... u dun haf to change for anyone... if any guy like u... he will haf like u for who u r.... okie??? ppl do change... is juz tat is a good one or bad one....maybe u shl try to change for e better.. for ur own sake... dun keep having e thinking that u wan to stick with ur old self... u may have changed too.. juz that u didnt realised.... life is full of unexpected.. u will nv noe wat will happen the nxt moment... so dun live ur life regreting things u haven do.... or dun dare to do.... juz do it... except illegal stuffs la... heee ^_^..
hao la... i shall stop here... todae seem to be kinda long-winded... ahah... yawnzz.. going to slp soon le... i promise to go running with liru tml at yck... hey i still rem my diet plan!!!
ciao~~....^_^
*You may only be one person to the world
But you may also be the world to one person...*
maddie at 2:11 AM dear blogger.. i feel so tired lately.. i have been spending my whole day yesterday doing my html assignment.. is really
WHOLE day.. 12 hours.. got so dizzy.. but still incompete... now i really got no mood to do le... it was pris's bdae yesterday... i feel so so so bad now... i have been busying doing my assign n forgotten all abt it... i dun even noe todae is already oct!!! damn me.... she is my buddy u noe.... although i m bigger then her (by 29 daes).. she is always like a big sis to me... pris.. so sorry... a HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!! ^_^ !
feel so tired.. mentally n physically... i really scare i will fail... i noe nothin abt java.. and tis coming sat is e practical test n quiz... omgz.. i m going to die very NICELY... god bless....
todae after sch went orchard wif katty n ru... kathy went to change her heels n after me n ru telling her tat pants look nice... she finally agreed not to buy skirt n went treating us swensen...and i m on diet!!! but gian e treat den break my "fast" for tat... ahha and so luckily.. they got a lucky dip and i got a coupon of buying hot fudge ice cream for juz 55cents!!!!!! it was SOOO CHEAP.... liru n katty got soft drinkz for 55cents... ahhaa such a good dealz.. tink we gona eat swensen often tis month... ahah but we still kp y nv get e fish n chip for $5.50!!! ahahz maybe is juz fate... even god wan me to go on a diet!! ahahaz.. god is on my side.. hmm... i shl go plan wat to eat tml in order not to gain "extraz" fats.....
Omgzz... for goodness sake... got a shock out of my life AGAINZ... all thankz to liru... wat a nice frenz... tis is e second time liao... scare me in e middle of e night... wah pangzz... how many time liao... i really screamzz.... my heart is still beating okie... cool down... cool down....
yawnzz... going slp soon... hope for a better tml...
*We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love...BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly..*
maddie at 12:32 AM
